Scared of Love
by ruiiko
Summary: Every time I act like I love someone, they leave me. Which is why it scares me when you tell me you love me.


**Not much to say about this... I still really like Gumi and Lily together. c: Kinda inspired by Nate Dogg's song of the same tittle 'Scared of love'. So yeah, that's all. Enjoy and review!**

* * *

Lily was never really the type to settle down into a relationship and be with someone for a very large amount of time. She was the girl that was always bouncing back and forth between people. She would use them, and that would be it. The person would be lucky if they got to see Lily again.

But she was notorious for that.

Lily just figured since she was young, why waste time by being held down by one person for a long time? She wanted to have fun! And if her way of having fun was fooling around with people and experimenting, she was all for it.

For Lily, it was rare for her to fall in love.

It had happend before, though.

It was the weirdest feeling to Lily, and she was never sure if she liked the feeling or not. Whenever she was around a certain person, she'd want to actually talk to them, and get to know them. Not just use them for sex. She'd cuddle them, and actually try to be a nice person.

But it was hard, though.

Whenever Lily found herself falling inlove, whenever she'd try to be nice and considerate to that special someone—they always left her. It was the same thing over and over again. Lily would tell the person that she loved them, and the next thing she knew it, they were trying to avoid her at all costs!

Which was why it was just easier to fool around and not fall in love.

If there was just sex and no emotion, it was just right. Right? Wrong. After being rejected so many times, Lily felt drained. She started to realise that she did want to have somebody to be around for a long time. Someone she could call her own, and spoil them with kisses and hugs. She wanted to do nice things. She just wanted to be loved.

But love was a very scary thing.

And it was even more scarier that Lily had found somebody who claimed to love her.

Her name was Gumi. She was an absolute sweetheart. Gumi had large green eyes that never seemed to loose it's shine, with soft green hair. Her skin was soft and smooth. She was beautiful. Everything about her, Lily wanted. She wanted Gumi. The way she never seemed to loose a smile, the way things never seemed to bother her, the way Gumi would smile at Lily—she wanted her. She really liked Gumi, but it was scaring her to death.

She had never felt this strongly for someone.

Which was exactly why she was scared. If she told Gumi, how would she react? Gumi claimed that she loved Lily, but for all she knew, that could be a lie.

Lily was horrified to think about it.

* * *

It was another boring day. Summer had begun, which Lily was glad for—now she could see her wonderful greenhaired Gumi everyday, without school getting in the way! Life felt good. Everything felt wonderful, despite the numbing feeling that Lily felt towards Gumi. Each and everyday they spent together, Lil y just wanted to tell Gumi.

Sure, they did all of that gooey cuddly couple things, but Lily wanted them to mean something.

Lily had to tell her.

But she was scared.

On this fine summer day, the two young girls were lounging around in Lily's apartment. Sun shone through the balcony windows, as the curtain fluttered in the breeze that softly rolled through. The TV was playing quietly in the background, and the two young girls were assembled on Liy's couch. Lily rested her head in Gumi's lap, while the green haired girl tenderly looked down on her, while combing her fingers through her soft hair.

"You're beautiful, you know," Gumi complimented. She told Lily this everyday, as she would brush her hair with her fingers.

Lily chuckled slightly. "You flatter me." Her focus was on the tv, even if she wasn't actually paying attention to it. She was just trying to keep herself from being distracted enough to let out her feelings for Gumi.

"Really though." Gumi said. "You're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met." The two would always compliment eachother like this. Mindless flirting day to day, with all the cuddles and love. The atmosphere between them was very warm and comforting, yet Lily knew she wouldn't feel as comfortable as she could if she could have Gumi as more than just a friend. More than someone she would play with. She wanted them to be official.

Lily turned her head to look back up at Gumi. She couldn't help the smile that broke out upon her lips, as she said, "Gumi, when did you become so flattering?" She laughed. "Gosh. I'm so lucky to be in the company of someone as sweet as you."

Gumi was blushing now. 'Now look who's the one being flattering!" She giggled, and Lily smiled back, as she whispered, "Come here," Reaching up to brush her fingers against Gumi's cheek, to guide her down so their lips could meet.

They stayed like this for a moment, until Gumi pulled away, resuming her earlier pattern of brushing Lily's hair with her fingers, smiling down at her. "I really like you, Lily." Gumi whispered. She said this all the time. Lily didn't know what to think of it. So, instead, she closed her eyes, to try and compose herself, before opening them again, smiling at Gumi, and glancing back at the TV.

This was becoming ridiculous.

Lily wanted Gumi all to herself, and she had the chance to! It was quite clear by now that Gumi liked her, and Lily obviously liked her back, too. So what was the problem? There was none. Lily had just convinced herself that she was scared. She was.

This was really foreign to her.

The room went silent for a moment, as sounds from the tv drowned out the girls. "Lily?" Gumi whispered then in the dead silence.

"Hm?" Lily mumbled, casting her gaze back to Gumi. Her face was dead serious. For a moment, Gumi averted her gaze from Lily, as a blush formed on her cheeks. She then turned back to Lily.

"Lily, you know, I'm serious when I tell you I like you." Gumi then mumbled.

Lily could feel the blush coming to her cheeks, and she quickly sat up, backing away from Gumi, to the other side of the couch. Gumi tilted her head. "Lily?" She wondered, her eyes showing the hurt very clearly.

Lily shook her head. "But why would you?"

Gumi looked confused, but then smiled, letting out a laugh, as she scooted closer to Lily. "Why wouldn't I?"

Lily stood up then, backing away from Gumi. Gumi got up, trying to come closer to her. "You're acting strange.. what's wrong?" Gumi asked.

Lily just shook her head again, as she backed up to far, crashing into her lamp, knocking it over, thus tripping over it, and falling to the ground. She looked up to the confused Gumi, who was now crouching down beside the tangled and conflicted Lily. "Do you... not like me or something?' She asked, a frown forming to her face.

Lily felt herself becoming flustered. What happend to the calm and smooth act? She was just making a fool of herself. "N-no! It's just, I..." She trailed off, averting her gaze from Gumi's.

"You just what?" Gumi asked, her voice gentle as always, though some edge was forming around her words. "Because everytime I tell you I like you, you always act so strange... why?"

Lily looked down. Gumi was right. She couldn't keep this up forever. She looked back up to Gumi, who hadn't budged. "Why?" She repeated.

Lily took a deep breathe then, as she lunged forward, kissing Gumi with the most passionate kiss she could manage. She could feel Gumi's hot breathe along her skin, she could taste the inside of her mouth, her lips were so soft and warm... Lily then pulled away, instead cuffing her hands around Gumi's cheeks. "I do love you, Gumi." Gumi's face was deep red, as a smile came to her face. She was at a loss for words. As was Lily. For a moment, she had to rest her head against Gumi's shoulder to regain herself, before looking back into her eyes.

"Then why?" Gumi repeated herself in a whisper.

Lily sighed deeply then, as she got to her feet, helping Gumi up, as she guided her to the couch. Her knees felt like jello, they could give out any minute. Butterflies were rampaging in her stomache, her head was pounding. She had to tell Gumi the truth.

With a deep sigh, she began to speak, "Well, I mean, I just..." It all began to pour out, but Lily stopped herself, taking in a deep breathe. She didn't really know what to say. "You know about my past..." Lily mumbled. She had told Gumi about all the people she had been with. But when she and Gumi had started to hang around eachother, Lily had sworn to always be truthful. She wasn't going to fool around with anyone, and was going to have a clean slate with Gumi.

Gumi smiled, as she clutched Lily's hands in her own. "Is that all?"

Lily shook her head. "Well, yes, I mean, no, I mean... it's part of the reason... look, I don't even know where I'm going with this. But everytime I actually fall in love with someone... they usually—we usually stop talking. Just, nothing. They leave me." Lily admitted with a sigh, looking down.

Gumi let out a laugh. "That's it?" Lily looked back up, to see the smile forming on Gumi's lips. "Yeah..." She mumbled.

"Lily, I'm not going to leave you. I like you. I really do." Gumi said, reaching over to plant a kiss on Lily's forhead. The blonde wrapped her arms around Gumi's body, bring her closer, so she could hold her.

"And I like you, Gumi. But I'm scared. I've never felt this strongly for someone before, and now that you know I like you, you're going to leave me, and—" the words kept pouring out, as tears formed in Lily's eyes. But Gumi silenced her, by putting a finger to her lips.

"Hey." She whispered, a stern look crossing her face. "I'm not going to leave you, okay?" The smile came back, as she wiped the tears from Lily's eyes. "Jees. I love you, Lily." Gumi said.

Lily snivelled. She felt like a child. "Do you mean that?" She wondered.

Gumi looked her in the eyes for a long moment, and nodded with a smile. "yes! Of course, Lily. You have nothing to worry about, okay? I'm here. You have me." Gumi re-assured her.

Lily felt a smile come to her face. Gumi really did love her. She wasn't going to leave her, either.

Lily was just speechless. It was happy feeling. She had Gumi all to herself now! Now, she could kiss and hug and spoil her, all she wanted.


End file.
